The thing is this, I’m scared
a long time ago taking what
remained my heart with
its shards and fragments I
placed them all within the
relative safety of a box
a heart shaped box held fast
by a heart shaped lock and
sealed in wax made out of
tears bled from a thousand
lifetimes of heartache
then taking it to the deepest
darkest depths of and already
imploded inner most world to
the furthermost stone of rock
bottom
inside this heart shaped stone
I lay to rest the heart shaped
box containing every hope and
dream of every life lived from
the beginning to the present
which is empty for I have no
heart
cutting deep and long my hand
I sealed this tomb in the blood
which once pulsed vibrantly
then turned and walked away
returning to life as an outsider
looking in, wondering if happiness
is worth the pain of endurance
yet I feel this may be the eve of
that something more which has
evaded me for eternity
having just now returned from
the stone of rock bottom, sitting
with the heart shaped box on my
lap, picking at the wax with a heart
shaped key
wondering when the lock turns
open if then time will have truly
healed what was ultimately
broken beyond repair
will then the pure light of truth
reveal once again she who has
filled my dreams since the ink
dried on a worthless piece of
paper
one indiscretion does not erase
the multitude of amazing one
person is or contains
If I could only paint a picture
of a thousand words it would
look something like this
I forgive you
Robert S Katovski Olson 2018
Katovski Speaks 