Keep Your Chin Up

Hold your head high
walk tall and strong
even if you can’t. just
do it for your own sake.

no one can fix you, so
it’s up to you in whatever
time it takes. there
really is no hurry, in
that it doesn’t matter
how many one step
forward three steps back
there are. all that matters
is that you arrive in your
moment.

whatever it is that you are
searching for in this life,
own it like you already
have it and wear it like
you’re going to a party.

just remember that even
in your darkest days
to keep you chin up.

Katovski©2016

Grip Strength

I wonder what it would be like
I mean, I wish I could just once
deliver something written in
my inner world to the public
with the same emotional
rollercoaster turbulent crash
as it had when it went from my
heart to the page

yet when you hear it or read it
it’s always edited and perfected
which leads me to believe that
it lacks the raw emotion

so hear it is, fuck maybe I’ll burst into
them or the tears could just run
down my face. shit it’s funny how much
the voice quivers while trying to
hold them back or is it that I just
can’t let myself be seen as vulnerable

but then what the fuck is that all about
I’m here standing before you trembling
almost always giving you an edited view
of my inner world because I’m afraid
your perceived reaction scares the hell
out of me and there is no stopping that
train wreck waiting to happen

maybe its good to occasionally derail
after all there is a certain beauty in
personal catastrophe and maybe
that message gets lost somewhere
in the presentation but then maybe that
is how grip strength should be defined

the strongest grip is having the
confidence to just let go

Katovski©2016

Heart Shaped Box

far off in a netherworld
kept safe from those
who would happen upon
them in such a way
as to remake something
out of the fragmentation
from days left behind

sometimes the details of
breakage become lost in
the fairytale from which
they were created

all the while being careful
of what to wish for until
such aspiration finds its end
before the last breath of its
utterance spills forth

and what then, what then
of each new day eroding
what was thought to be true
whereas such truth then
becomes that which initiated
the fracture point leading to
the next dynamic faltering
of an inner world implosion

a certain netherworld contains
an undue amount of used sealing
wax and a heart shaped box
scarred from resealing numerous
times throughout the ages

I wonder if one were to open it
if anything beautiful could
be found

Katovski©2016

Tribe of One

I fell faster than time
running beyond the
speed of light from a
moonbeam out of
place and instance

seeking out more like me
finding I am the only one
unsure of fitting in always
standing at the fringe looking
in from the outside

it’s just easier to fade out
from here forgotten in a
time-lapse continuum

I wish those who came
before me would have
left this place as they
had found it

maybe then the tribes
of earth would know
my arrival was in peace
with love as the only intent

but I landed a millisecond
before the correct azimuth
caught in a mobius curve
fighting to break the loop
and realign the latitude

appearing as a shadow of
those who broke the trust
if only now it would rain
and wash away their foot
print so I could appear as
myself instead of a remnant
of another

it has become the daily fight
to not let history define me
but in that the spoils of war
mark me as an outsider
my name is Rainwater Moonchild
and I am the tribe of one

Robert Olson©2016
aka Katovski

Deep Space Vacuum

can anyone hear me
the universe is calling
it was supposed to be
that day of days we all
hope for but something
failed to align and a star
went supernova creating
a celestial trap void of
all reason

growing weary, tired of
repetitive motion where
days change yet their
substance replays like a
loop track of torment

happiness is so momentary
it can only live in an instant
where time breaks down to
milliseconds which then begs
to ask where is the serotonin

as dimensions collide it becomes
more difficult to jump from one
to the other to another and at
the rate the earth spins it is
nearly impossible to land in the
same place twice

which then opens the door to
the invisibility factor canceling
the theory of prismatic light and
answers the question of cross
dimensional disappearance

the universe is calling
I jumped and faded
you cannot see me
because I am not really here

Katovski©2016

Painfully Obvious

it’s more than a feeling
at times it seems surreal
in gaining acceptance
mind reeling at the ease
until the stark realization
sets in that misreading
pleasantries is something
of a curse not easily shed

maybe there is a time and
a place but then maybe
there is not, which leads
one to wonder if being
marked as an outcast is
a stain of permanence

who would know better
than he who becomes
known as that guy who
and memories fade off
into yesterday

second guessing reality
has become somewhat of
an art form in that it is
never quite known if one
has been kindly received

yet when standing at the
fringe wondering where it
is that one truly fits in and
realizing how painfully
obvious it is that you don’t
there should be nothing left
to wonder as to why certain
people fade off without a trace

Katovski©2016