I Call No Joy

I call no joy
created unique and with purpose
Icarus flew too close to the sun
the jet wash from such a feat
blew out his engines
which began his flat fall back to earth
unable to pull out of the negative
g-force escalated death roll
screaming eject Eject EJECT
in that split second twinkling of an eye
cataclysmic collision with the canopy
his spirit was extinguished
left to float lifelessly into the sea
drifting alone surrounded by
ominous waves of nothing
wanting to know the truth
hearing voices saying
you can’t handle the truth
rip tide high tide ebb tide low tide
washed ashore visibly catatonic
good will hunting finding nothing
but a reverse Midas touch
maybe its because Kenny Loggins
had him flying into the danger zone
instead of landing in Linkin Park
for his final masquerade
while love lies bleeding
there are no roses in the window box
my call sign is Icarus
I have flown below the hard deck
and called no joy
because there is none


it’s that hour
in that dark place
trapped inside myself
wanting desperately to break free
Inaudible is the silent scream
from within this self inflicted cage of shadows
where my demons come out to play
their game is old but I am weak
yet I am amused
by the awkward display of affection they bring

from inside I see myself standing on a hill far away
weathered but no longer beaten down
seeming to have found peace
no longer living the torment
only wearing the story in the lines around my eyes

thinking deeply of how I long to see
the stars unburdened by city lights
seeing a time and place
one that is not a memory
but one that is a memory waiting to be born
It’s clear that existence
plays out differently than our dreams
but then who is the master of our inner world
maybe the craziest thoughts
that play out in our minds eye
are our true reality
making our present an altered state

realizing that nothing
is as real as it may seem
while pondering evolution
or the evidence that humanity
is evolving so quickly
that when it comes full circle
in many aspects
it will be no better
than when it began

Is it then anti social
to disassociate from society
before the collapse
even when it has nothing
to offer but true degradation

finding the wider gap of separation
between humanity and the human race
longing to roam free from what it has become
could this be the truth in happiness

meanwhile everyone is dressing for the future
while I dress to fit within today
so that no one is the wiser

and yet the struggle only seems real from the inside
and what’s more difficult to convey
than this to someone on the outside
who only sees the facade