Tag Archives: Romance

Within Reach

I wanted to hug you when
we last met, but was afraid.
you see, I had already fallen

or was it that I tripped and fell
and was free falling because
that is the feeling I get when
you’re close enough to see the
sparkle in your eyes

yet there was no fear of the
impact only that someone
would reach out and catch me
not understanding the meaning
directly or the need to make a
precision landing

deep within the heart of the one
person who moved me in a way
when she smiled gave the
sensation that nothing was missing

you were and always will be my love
at first sight on any given day or in
the dark of any random night

and for as long as I know you I will
keep asking how to find Polaris
because there is nothing quite as
beautiful as standing behind you
star gazing knowing the most
amazing person is within reach

Robert S Katovski Olson2018

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The Eve of Something More

The thing is this, I’m scared
a long time ago taking what
remained my heart with
its shards and fragments I
placed them all within the
relative safety of a box

a heart shaped box held fast
by a heart shaped lock and
sealed in wax made out of
tears bled from a thousand
lifetimes of heartache

then taking it to the deepest
darkest depths of and already
imploded inner most world to
the furthermost stone of rock
bottom

inside this heart shaped stone
I lay to rest the heart shaped
box containing every hope and
dream of every life lived from
the beginning to the present
which is empty for I have no
heart

cutting deep and long my hand
I sealed this tomb in the blood
which once pulsed vibrantly
then turned and walked away

returning to life as an outsider
looking in, wondering if happiness
is worth the pain of endurance

yet I feel this may be the eve of
that something more which has
evaded me for eternity

having just now returned from
the stone of rock bottom, sitting
with the heart shaped box on my
lap, picking at the wax with a heart
shaped key

wondering when the lock turns
open if then time will have truly
healed what was ultimately
broken beyond repair

will then the pure light of truth
reveal once again she who has
filled my dreams since the ink
dried on a worthless piece of
paper

one indiscretion does not erase
the multitude of amazing one
person is or contains

If I could only paint a picture
of a thousand words it would
look something like this

I forgive you

Robert S Katovski Olson 2018

About The Kiss

Decompression on the run
there isn’t even a minute
to spare between finishing
one project and arriving for
the next

pre-planning on the fly while
the rest of the world finds
visions of sugarplums dancing
in their dreams

I steal a moment just for me
my head already on the pillow
the voices gather all around
just to remind that being this
busy all in the name of drowning
out their drone does not negate
the fact that …….

and here we go! Yes, I have not
been
kissed
in over four years, excluding
the occasional very affectionate
kiss on the cheek

surviving only on the momentary
nectar of verbal love like a donation
to the needy my heart grows ever
weary from starvation and neglect

seventy-two more hours of fasting
until the next possible feeding but
there is no guarantee and if I die
before you wake will then the voices
have won?

what has happened in this culture
where everyone has chosen to kiss
possibly the wrong one while there
is a certain shy extrovert standing by
holding a camera

capturing a moment because in his minds
eye it is beautiful yet that certain beauty
only crosses his path through the viewfinder
and leaves him with nothing but a memory
that isn’t even his

Robert S Katovski Olson2018

Tonight I Wait

It’s a question and nothing more
the answer rests with one or is
there a riddle within the query

a chance taken either becomes
the chance given or is left alone
and a case stated becomes the
labor of that which confuses yet
its act clarifies the truth

where a circle has no beginning
and no end somehow there is a
magic in its fullness that always
returns me back

to a point thirteen degrees left
of the northern magnetic pole
in that place where the world
became lost around us and the
single most important thing we
found was an unbreakable bond

certain forces have succeeded to
break us but still our bond remains
even though we are apart for now
or forever

your heart is already in that place
I’m walking backwards so I can see
you coming just in case you change
your mind

soon I’ll arrive at our perfect place
wondering of questions and answers
tonight, I wait

Katovski2017

Ions in the Air

Just as darkness fell upon,
our hands found the door

the water fell far enough
from one cave to another
releasing negative ions
into the air

often I find myself back
in a memory playing like
a slide show breathing in
the recharge

such are the dreams I still
dream whether it’s day
or night even some where
in between

the ions in the air brought
to life intimate details of a
time where we were the
world around us and that
world became the most
important place to be

there is still a place in that
world where intimate
memories wait to find the
recharge it is there that I
wait with them

Katovski2017

Did I Get It Wrong

Have I lived my time
with you and now its
over?

no looking back even
if it feels good to the point
that it brings on the sadness
flowing through my veins from
that eternal crack in my heart
that never healed from the first
break.

did I get it wrong?
thinking that continually
re-breaking it will in some
way eventually heal my heart
correctly

what if the hammer that
initially broke it is hiding
in the recesses of a damaged
memory

will taking my hand from its
handle figuratively count as
literally letting it go and will
that be enough

the past will never change
but knowing that, will find
some balance in the future

now I’m looking forward
still recognizing hopes and
dreams that have yet to be
realized

seeing the other side of
that which finds your
beauty wondering if
I ever told you

alas, maybe it’s too late for
such things

Katovski2017

Out of Sequence

I considered your eyes
even though we were
a world apart

questioning why wondering
what good could come from
this departure

I’ve not given up on me I’m
still fighting a fight as grave
as it may seem at times for
this silly notion thinking if
I improve maybe you would
return

didn’t you know I don’t want
anyone else to know me better
or that I’m in the midst of a
battle to rise above the things
that changed me enough to
lose you

in all of life there can only be
one number one and the thought
of what to do escapes me in a way
that finds me wounded internally

shall I just reserve this as a pleasant
memory to be replayed whenever
a certain happy mood is desired
but how long would I be able to stay
in that moment before it turns into
the sadness waiting to incapacitate me

always the risk taker I would accept
this as a challenge knowing there is
a chance greater than the odds stacked
against me of eminent failure

outsiders may ask if I am crazy and you
know I may just be crazy but then I would
be a fool not to go after what I truly desire
and by the shadows I would know whether
or not this feeling is my truth or a fictitious
plot imagined in a distorted subconscious

sometimes love doesn’t stop just because
we choose to move out of sequence maybe
there needs to be a break to realign the beat
and maybe that will never happen but it’s that
chance I have to take to live in a way different
than I have been

you see I looked into your eyes and I still see
my reflection coming back to me tonight I’m
still considering them even though we are a
world apart

Katovski2017

Incantation

I’m whispering those magic words
to raise your spirit from the dead
voices gather far and wide I hear
them echo in my head

place the stones to form a star
draw a circle without end light a
fire burning blue sacred color
binding me as one to you

it is but a love story from long ago
I knew her well and she knew better
we stood at the edge of the void star
gazing while she called the elements
and we danced among them

life was simpler back then before
the wicked web of complicated
confusion consumed a cycle and
desperation became the backhanded
fulfillment of an erroneous need

time lapse memory foreshadowing
a day stepping into the circle casting
my hopes and dreams the only truth
I possess onto the pentacle waiting
for the magic to flow through

the one star points to the shadow
lands close to the void or a point of
no return it is there I will cast my lot
as a mortal to find the spirit of my star

wondering only if it will move me
forward or send me back to moments
before the slice that took the life which
sent me down a spiraling path where
darkness became the way

I’m whispering those magic words to
raise her spirit from the after all it is
but a love story

Katovski2017

Intonation

I asked you not to go in the
same voice I begged you to
stay

There was just no stopping
that and even though I tried
getting out of the way I was
not quick enough to avoid
being broken

Inwardly obliterated outward
disguise can I rebuild the
wreckage or create a parallel
innermost world

Ashes and dust fragments of
a past should I be holding them
for later or let them scatter in
the wind

Places out there everywhere
call to me yet no one answers
back

Is it because when I soul search
it’s not my own? I could use the
company or do the fragmented
characters of my reality frighten
you?

Not a day passes without a vision
of an hour in another time wondering
what really happened but how then
can I even know

Its quiet I can’t find you or you’re
hiding just out of reach I’m lost in
the depths of my own despair no
direction hidden destination

I asked your location in the same
voice as I begged you

Katovski2017

Something Stronger Than Love

I was thinking this evening
as I often do considering
the future wondering if I
could find you

Maybe I’m dreaming in a
time or about a place which
I have already found or one
that could be calling me

Recently my inner world
unlocked a door in a box
to a secret destination
holding something important

This may perhaps be an ordinary
key which might just be the one
lovely thing that turns a lock
to a heart shaped box holding
something stronger than love

Remembering that love is an
action more than a word which
can only prove itself in a deed
within a deed from an object
taken from a box stored in a
secret compartment in a world
within a world which when held
hostage complicates everything

Forgiveness shouldn’t be so hard
to find to give to restore the balance
for it is the key within the key inside
the box containing the action that
proves beyond a shadow that love
is real

I’m dreaming of a wish made inside
a dream of a certain place where
Ursa minor can be seen in a sky full
of stars as a beautiful backdrop in
which I can look into your eyes and
and you will know the action of love
in the spoken words, I forgive you

Katovski2017