Peace

I’m tired

Maybe I could just go to sleep

 

But would I wake up

If then I could

Maybe then I would

Find myself in a different place

In a new time

Where finding my peace

Would not be tethered

By something or someone

 

Even so knowing the location

Seems so far away

Or is it that peace

Is within my own being

And that a place can only

Trigger a response

 

Whereas cannabis

And opium meditations

Only took my mind

To a higher plain

And conciseness enlightened

As to why my soul still remained

Left behind out of place and time

 

There is no person place or thing

That can unlock a spirit

And set it free

My peace is mine

And I will find it

All in good time

But for now

Magical hugs and kisses

Mixed with art and writing

Will make me feel just fine

Katovski©2014

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Pushed Away

Quiet now

There is no sense

In debating the if only

Rules of my dissatisfaction

While offering newly worded

Renditions of the same version

Trying to convince me

They are otherwise different

 

That first push

Light and easy

Hopeful that

Tomorrow would come

 

How then now

Is it that you miss me

 

Do you miss me

When you tell me no

Do you miss me

When you tell me maybe tomorrow

Do you miss me

When you tell me maybe

The day that never comes

 

Every push given stronger

Every push taken harder

Widening the gap in time

Taking longer with

Each successive thrust

To find a way back home

 

Becoming then pushed away

At an alarming strength and distance

That gravitational pull fails

Along with any remnant of orbit

While desire of what once was

Burns up in some far away atmosphere

 

Leaving one to wonder

Did you miss me

When you told me no

Katovski©2014

Fade To Black

What point is love

When attraction

Has lost its effect

 

Should we then

Just live as friends

Along with the dissatisfaction

Knowing all too well

That somewhere along the way

We have last our attraction

 

The orgasmless pit in my stomach

Speaks the truth

A lover left to visit her mother

And only a friend returned

 

Many are the friends

Who are not lovers

Yet am I the only one

Honest enough with myself

To admit to what is going on

 

And the occasional oral copulation

Does not calm the fire within

Of puppets on strings

And roller coasters

That create tidal waves

Of confused emotion

Or is it just delusional expectations

Which doom the hopeful

To Cape Disappointment

 

Is then happiness

Just so momentary

As to knock down

The walls of longevity

Leaving us holding

The all encompassing

Bag of nothing

 

While time speeds forward

Repeating nightmares

So often they seem

To be my only reality

And dreams have stopped

Visiting the night

 

As now this life

Flashes before my eyes

Repeating everything

That I have done wrong

And nothing that I have done right

 

The torment returns

And my lover is gone

While the world around me

Fades to black

Katovski©2014

A Fond Farewell

 I love you

And even though

The fact remains

That you were

Always there for me

When I needed you most

Or even when I didn’t

Need you at all

You never said no

 

Your taste in my mouth

Is something unforgettable

The deep warm

Often dizzying feeling

From once you passed my lips

Is all but a dream now

 

Something has come up

And you can

No longer be good for me

Where life hangs in the balance

With shadows lying in wait

At the fringe

Watching carefully wondering

Which path I will choose

 

Be it life or be it death

The speed limit has been reached

As the shadows find such disappointment

In decisions based on fact

And much to their chagrin

I have chosen life

Life without you

 

And I am quite sure that

You will be okay

Since you are loved by so very many

 

I say all of this

In order to bid you a fond farewell

Bourbon my dear sweet lovely drink of choice

Katovski©2014

Traveling the Back Roads

It’s not about how fast I go

It’s about knowing my ability

To stop

And take in what life presents

To me

Like smelling the flowers

Along the way

And seeing the forest for the trees

 

The shortest distance

Between two points

Is a straight line to

Should life be so short

 

People travel across

The interstates of life

Getting from point to point

Without ever truly experiencing

Something or anything

Remarkable in the grand scheme

Of greatness that is life

 

So then the shortest route

From the cradle to the grave

Is the interstate of life

Now that has me thinking

About how the exciting possibilities

Of getting lost on the back roads

Could just turn life into something

Beautiful

 

Perhaps the best thing

That ever happened to me

Is that I have been lost

On the back roads

For my entire life

 

It’s not about how fast you go

It’s about knowing your ability

To stop

Katovski©2014

 

 

The Greenest Grass

How oft does the grass

Appear greener to the

Fickle mind

Always looking far off

Into the future or even

The nearest tomorrow

Unhappy with today

Making a jump

Into the perception

That color saturation

Is conceivably better

On some other plain

Only to find upon arrival

That gray is the new green

And nothing has changed

For better or worse

While tomorrow really

Never comes

Today should be

Of more concern

For in that

We hold the responsibility

Of happiness to ourselves

Not in some other person

Not in some other location

But right here

And of that which surrounds us

The best should be made

For in that the magic

Of happiness finds release

If only

From time to time

We would look at our feet

And realize

That we are already standing

In the greenest grass

katovski©2014

In His Name

I don’t understand

My place in time

But suddenly all the clocks

Just fell from the sky

They said it’s all

In your mind you see

No I’m not that blind

You see

Just trying to find my way

Back home

Sitting in the darkness

Remembering yesterday

Living in the shadows

Of a life so far away

Everything I want

Is not okay with you

Muse’s fade so quickly

This is why I’m blue

Blue

Sinking slowly

Drowning in the abyss

Gasping for breath

Surrounded by dream crushing

Waves of mediocrity

Pushing me down

Pulling me deeper

Vertigo

That was my whole life

I was born once to live

Born once to die

Born once to rage

Born once to cry

The love that became

The love that I gave

Asking for nothing

Receiving the same

Nothing

 

Is it any wonder

I said

Is it any wonder why

I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling

Misunderstood

Totally misconstrued

Jump to conclusions

Left so confused

Confusion confession

Forgive me father for I have sinned

Excuse me

Is that whiskey I smell

Upon your breath

While I am here upon my knees

Begging forgiveness

For doing these deeds

No hail Marry so full of grace

Your conditional forgiveness

Is a slap in the face

You do what you do

And it’s a sin when

I do the same

I wonder how god feels

When people

Do what they do

While using his name

His name

The crusades were fought

In his name

Terrorism

In his name

One nation under god

In his name

I wonder how god feels

When people

Do what they do

While using his name

Katovski©2014

 

I Am a Wolf Pack

You treat me wrong

You treat me right

There’s something going on here

Oh lord why do we fight

 

Going round and around again

Who did what to who

Will this madness ever end

 

Humanity is so inhumane

They chop each other into pieces

For the shape of their eyes

The color of their skin

Or just because of their name

 

You see I am a wolf pack

Did you ever wonder why

I howl at the moon

Or even begin to wonder why I cry

 

Humanity is supposed to be above all that

But it’s never satisfied

It mourns a life of excess

When a Hollywood actor dies

A homeless family starves to death

And not one person cries

 

You treat me wrong

I’ll treat you right

You take my home

And kill my family

No revenge I’ll just take flight

 

I come and go so silently

Never wondering what to do

I may just be a wolf pack

But I’m more humane

Than you

 

I am a wolf pack baby

Living off the land

Taking only what I need

From mother earth’s

Open hand

Katovski ©2014