My Suicide

Once upon a movie, the memory
triggered from a time that refuses
to stay buried in the past

even though a promise made and kept
remains the most difficult task, due to
circumstances beyond the mortal control
of any one person

not everyone has the same story which
often leads to a copycat result, but maybe
there is synchronicity in their path

could it be that some share the same need
to be and feel loved, but why is it that we don’t?
personally, I know my parents and my child love me
but I need something far different from that

it’s been a longtime since I felt the touch that
found home, while the hugs and love you brothers
made in greetings are wonderful, yet usually stay
right where they were cast

people that consider it, often leave subtle hints in hope
that someone will talk to them about what is going on
they may do this several times before just fading away
becoming the mother fucker, in, “I can’t believe that mother
fucker did that to us” which is a shoe best never worn

sometimes they just lose their shit, while others lose everything
and in the continual taking away of puzzle pieces that complete,
the voices begin to bully, telling me, that everyone would be
better off without me because no one, not a soul loves me, but
little do they know, a promise made to a five-year-old makes
me stronger than all the voices combined

we may never know what causes people to hate their lives and I wish
there was a way to convince them to just remove the parts they hate
instead of creating a new group of victims left to wonder why

Robert S Katovski Olson2017


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