Domino

Tonight I tried but I got in the way
something happened that wasn’t
supposed to now I suffer alone

sleeping genes awaken taking life
a direction never dreamed, leaving
hands empty but not my heart

the tests of time take the time
twisting it into a contortion of
certain reveries

no one sees me try no one sees me
fail no one feels my pain nor do they
hear me cry

I’m angry at the domino effect of sickness
and side effects that disable me in a way
that no one seems to understand

my expectations led to huge disappointments
in that I expected people to believe me when
I said I can’t

I’m heartbroken not in losing everything
but I lost the one I needed to keep and so
began the final unraveling

they said you are not alone, empty words
mean nothing when that is all I feel as I
hide behind my smile and a laugh because
I would rather show that than what is really
going on inside

I wanted to write something pretty and that
didn’t happen because I got in the way

Katovski2017

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