Grip Strength

I wonder what it would be like
I mean, I wish I could just once
deliver something written in
my inner world to the public
with the same emotional
rollercoaster turbulent crash
as it had when it went from my
heart to the page

yet when you hear it or read it
it’s always edited and perfected
which leads me to believe that
it lacks the raw emotion

so hear it is, fuck maybe I’ll burst into
them or the tears could just run
down my face. shit it’s funny how much
the voice quivers while trying to
hold them back or is it that I just
can’t let myself be seen as vulnerable

but then what the fuck is that all about
I’m here standing before you trembling
almost always giving you an edited view
of my inner world because I’m afraid
your perceived reaction scares the hell
out of me and there is no stopping that
train wreck waiting to happen

maybe its good to occasionally derail
after all there is a certain beauty in
personal catastrophe and maybe
that message gets lost somewhere
in the presentation but then maybe that
is how grip strength should be defined

the strongest grip is having the
confidence to just let go

Katovski©2016

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